So I always use to think, up until now, that doing a lot of favors for others builds the relationship with the other person, and try to ask for as-little back was the way to build a great report with someone. But I can see the opposite side now, on why it is good to also ask for favors in return as-well, because it can relive the pressure of someone feeling like they owe something to you. If you keep giving and ask for nothing, they will be less likely to ask for more favors, and in doing so you will be less likely to receive help from the relationship if you ask nothing in return, and give give and give.
But if your only giving and don’t allow yourself to receive the relationship is not as good as it could be: because we have stopped the giving AND receiving of favors to one’s self. I just read this and I’d like to share it with you here, the last part is what made me re-think a significant part of how I try to do as many favors as possible for people, but I can see why it wasn’t always the best way to just keep giving, and try to ask as little as possible in return.
“GIVE FAVORS: There’s a karmic scoreboard in the sky. This scoreboard tracks what you do for people. If you want to be a world-class schoomzer, ensure that you’re hugely positive on the scoreboard. You accomplish this by helping people-especially folks who seemingly can’t do anything for you. And do this without expectation of return. Eventually, the scoreboard will take care of you.
RETURN FAVORS: Since I believe in doing favors, I surely advocate returning favors. When something is done for oyu, you have accepted a moral obligation to pay it back. Great schoomzers return favors and do so with joy. This not only moves the scoreboard a little in the positive direction but enables you to ask for more favors.
ASK FOR THE REUTRN OF FAVORS: Counterintuitive as this seems, you should ask for the return of favors. Doing so reduces or removes the pressure from a person who feels he owes you somethign. Thus, it provides an opportunity to clear the deck. Then the other party can ask for new favors.”
The Art of Start – Guy Kawasaki,